Explaining what I actually do to relatives has always been a challenge, and with the holidays around the corner, I worry, this question will come up. So here is a light-hearted way of turning the dinner table conversation into a fun one.
Random people in the street were asked about the first thing that comes to mind when hearing the words "Product Manager".... Here is what they had to say:
1. The Practical Coach
"Define the goal, outline the steps, prioritize the tasks. Now tackle the sprint. Rinse and repeat until launch—or burnout. Your call."
2. The Mathematician
"Define the problem. Then solve for the MVP. Bonus points if your stakeholders don’t redefine the variables mid-sprint."
3. The Therapist
“Managing products? It's about balancing the joy of creation with the stress of deadlines and the occasional existential dread of roadmaps.”
4. The Cheerleader
"You’re agile, you’re creative, and you’re driving value! And hey, if the backlog looks scary, just call it ‘opportunities.’"
5. The Manager
“Stop explaining. Just ship it. Remember, no one complains about features they never knew about.”
6. The Consultant
"It’s facilitated innovation management within agile frameworks. Or, as we say in consulting, ‘herding cats but with a Gantt chart.’"
7. The Teacher
“I could explain what a PM does, but isn’t it more empowering if you figure it out for yourself? Hint: Jira might help.”
8. The Dentist
“It’s like pulling teeth—except the teeth have opinions, schedules, and Slack channels.”
9. The Tabloid Reporter
“BREAKING: Product Manager Misses Deadline! Developers Shocked, Stakeholders Outraged, Marketing Fakes Enthusiasm.”
10. The Politician
“Product managers are the unsung heroes of innovation. And no, I won't take questions about the backlog at this time.”
11. The Philosopher
“If I told you what a PM does, could we trust the answer—or is the process of discovery itself the essence of product management?”
12. The Existentialist
“Do you manage the product, or does the product manage you? Either way, the Jira tickets keep multiplying.”
13. The Physicist
“A PM’s influence is inversely proportional to the size of the team squared. But hey, at least you’ll always have gravity.”
14. The Chiropractor
“Let’s realign your epics and muscle-test your user stories. Feeling agile yet?”
15. The Self-Starter
“Why work for someone else? Just build your own product—and become your own stakeholder problem.”
16. The Buddhist
“You were a scrum master in a past life. Now you're here to refine your backlog karma.”
17. The Creativity Coach
“Spin in a circle, and when you stop, the next feature will be revealed. Or you’ll fall down—both are valuable insights.”
18. The Priest
“Blessed are the backlog groomers, for theirs is the roadmap to continuous improvement.”
19. The Bureaucrat
“That’s outside the scope of my current ticket. But feel free to submit a new one, and I’ll triage it.”
this post was inspired by https://werner-eberwein.de/wo-gehts-denn-hier-zum-bahnhof/
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